G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is ho-hum popcorn entertainment, filled with plenty of action spectacle yet void of wit and personality.

The film is based on a toy line released during the 1950s, which over the decades gave birth to a cartoon series and comic book. With fingers in so many pies, the filmmakers insist that what we are dealing with is a “mythology”. But let’s face it: G.I. Joe is nothing more than a brand name, with The Rise of Cobra the next digestible product fresh off the conveyer belt, and it feels every bit as synthetic as the doll that birthed it.    

The plot is simple: a leading arms manufacturer has created an advanced and highly destructive weapon. Intent on possessing it is the mysterious and evil (with a capital E) organisation, Cobra Command. In their way are G.I. Joe, an elite squad made up of the world’s best soldiers.

The viewer is given access to this highly secretive group through two new recruits: Duke, played by Channing Tatum, who provides the beefcake but no charm; and Ripcord, which has Marlon Wayans in the dependable role of comedy relief, sans humour.

The rest of the films characters are introduced and placed in their little boxes as the brawn; the brain; the sass, and the bad ass.   

Flashback is utilised supposedly to beef up character motivation and flesh out relationships. Yet even these moments wallow in cliché nonsense, with that lovable action staple of revenge the key factor to many of the vendettas shown on screen.    

The dialogue features more corn than a steaming pile of turd, and is delivered by actors who lack the charisma to lift their performances over the banality of it all.

Dennis Quaid, usually a solid presence, has trouble keeping a straight face in the role of G.I. Joe Commander Hawk; and indie darling Joseph Gordon-Levitt is regrettably bad as a mad scientist, complete with evil laugh to show that he means business.    

Surprisingly, the most fun belongs to Sienna Miller, who is both sinister and sexy in the role of The Baroness, rocking her black leather get-up while injecting a much needed dose of personality and cheek.  She is sorely missed when not on the screen.  

For all of its low points –and boy there are many – G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is not as bad as it could have been. Indeed, the highly publicised speculative turmoil behind the scenes had many mark this as a real turkey.

But to the credit of director Stephen Sommers, there are a couple of redeeming factors, with Miller being one.

The other is a spectacular action sequence involving the destruction of the Eifel Tower, which –along with the preceding carnage caused in the streets of Paris, that would make the damage bill in a Lethal Weapon movie look like chump change – is a real hoot that features some impressive special and visual effects.
 
Yet for all of the history and fanfare of its source material, nothing much has been achieved with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, apart from the unintentional hilarity that this film is in fact a fleshed out version of Team America: World Police.